Will gargle for you, rinse, spit.
Kevin Mouthwash Services. 206-939-0132.
ABC
Wiping Service For the very best in wiping. Bonded, insured. 206-939-0132.
Industrial Baby Launderers Our new coin-operated machines hose, soak, dry
and swaddle baby. 14556 NW 34th, 206-470-8330.
Window Washing In our
lovely Victorian home. There is free coffee and Silas is an excellent conversationalist. The
Taggarts, 206-727-0753.
You cannot bear to look at that mess anymore
Call! The Brunansky brothers will: bind, dry-clean, remove lint, do alterations, seal punctures,
remove tattoos.
Filthy Teen Be Clean -- 206-939-0132
Normal
household cleaners contain lye, ammonia and other ickies. That's bad for the Planet. Why not call
Care-2-Clean? We give your house a good going-over using only all-natural soy-based cleansers. We
follow that up with a second scrub-down using lye and ammonia-based cleansers, to remove dirt and
germs and soy smell.
Earth-friendly and clean ... all in one!
Care-2-Clean -- 206-470-8330
Problem salivator available for help in
spit-shine duties. 206-727-0753.
NATURECARE CLEANING. Rugged, bare-handed house-cleaning without
implements or cleansers. 206-939-0132.
SIPHONING. Just position hose. Our quiet, well-behaved siphoners do the rest.
206-939-0132.
Our team of specialists will empty that pool pronto!
Advanced
General Corpulence -- 206-470-8330
Need to really lose that document or artifact?
Entrust it with one of our certified specialists. We'll send him on his way. And we guarantee it'll
never be found again. 206-727-0753.
Alzheimer Streetfarers
PROFESSIONAL
MISPLACEMENT SYSTEMS
Will repeatedly stack, then unstack, old magazines.
Kelly Obsessive-Compulsives. Kelly Obsessive-Compulsives. 206-939-0132. Kelly
Obsessive-Compulsives.
J. POLLACK HOUSE 'N GARDEN PAINTERS. 206-470-8330
Speedi-Spackle High pressure hose. Entire house spackled in two minutes. Seal and protect. -- 206-727-0753
YOUR CAR HAS AN
AIR-BAG. WHY DON'T YOU? Life is dangerous. Our specialists are ready to protect you.
4-man squad, $750 a day. Colostomy Systems. 206-939-0132.
PMS MASH & CRUSH --
206-470-8330
SUPER-TEMPS!! Twice the filing! Twice the typing! Same low low
cost! Siamese Systems -- 206-727-0753
Window-watchers. Quiet. 206-939-0132.
BLIND
CLEANERS. No, it's not what you think ... our workers have great vision! And that vision helps them
clean, lubricate and polish your blinds to a high shine!
House of Quads --
206-470-8330
FILLERS. Make your party seem livelier. Your office seem busier.
Theater owner? Full house every night. All your space-filling needs. PARKINSON'S HELPERS.
206-727-0753.
|  Haul away
garbage, dump in Discovery Park. 206-939-0132.
Will haul away trash and yard waste, sort, keep
sellables, return. 206-470-8330.
Have no vehicle, cannot haul. However, will happily set fire to
yard waste, old appliances. 206-727-0753.
Will haul away junk, debris, then give you
complimentary rolfing. Brunansky Bros. Hauling. 206-470-8330.
Plumber's gerbils. Eat through clog then die. Broadway Burrowing Pets. 206-939-0132.
Repair gutter, clean, remove winos. HH Services. 206-470-8330.
Intruder: be afraid. Be very afraid. Keep your home protected with our
'round-the-clock alarm service. Siren sounds 24 hours. Frighten potential intruders permanently.
Alarm Town. 206-727-0753.
eeeeeeeeeBOOM! Someone just shot your car
again. Perhaps it's time for a more people-friendly car alarm.
The Triller. From
Alarms Aplenty. Gentle. Purrs like a kitten. Call for free demo tape.
206-939-0132.
Is your lawn drying up? Is it shedding, discoloring, mottling, tufting, shifting or sagging? Your
lawn has an eating disorder. The solution, of course, is therapy. But lawn counseling is not yet
feasible.
THERE IS ANOTHER WAY, HOWEVER. Cottrell Lawn and Garden
Colonics. 206-470-8330.
A moment of discomfort ... a year of lush, green grass!
 JIFFY HOUSE-CLEANERS. Guests coming for the week-end?
In a hurry to get things tidied up? Our high-pressure water cannon cleans up the average home or
apartment in less than 8 minutes! 206-727-0753.
Neighborhood need painting ...
fast? Use the company the Forestry Service fire-fighters use! Beige, teal or
black.
International Aerial Bombardment, Inc. 206-939-0132
Hair stuck in jacuzzi vent?
Water level rising? You'll be tempted to
grab the scissors and snip. Eek! Don't make a bad situation worse! Nautilus Hairmaster can give you
a short-n'-sassy professional underwater hair-styling in no time! NAUTILUS HAIRMASTER.
206-470-8330.
Open-casket funeral? Freezer break-down? Champion Party & Costume.
206-727-0753.
 Before you put a sex
organ in your body, you seal it in a sturdy condom. That makes sense. Unless that condom is
itself disease-ridden. DUBBLEBUBBLE PROPHYLACTIC LAMINATORS
811 Marginal Way --
206-727-0753
Painless ten-minute procedure
Your beloved pet preserved forever as a
rugged gravy boat. Biosealant Services. 206-939-0132.
Paid stooges of the Plastics Industry have
been pelting fur-wearing society ladies with rocks dipped in stage blood. Why? To get them to wear
plastic fur. But have you ever considered laminating your fur stole or wrap? Rock-chucking dolts
take one look, leave you alone. No more pelting, stains.
The knowledge that it is fur
...
the look-feel of plastic!
Tomlinson's Hair & Skin Veneer. 206-470-8330.
We will quickly remove foreign objects from your body, wrap in disease-resistant latex seal,
replace.
Northwest Surgical Laminators
509 Olive Way. 206-727-0753.
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