"GODDAMMIT!
WHEN DO I MASTURBATE?"
BUSY PEOPLE NEED TO
ORGANIZE THEIR TIME.
Patented phallometer with
alarm tells you when it's masturbation time. Beep
or vibrate. Dynamic Business Systems --
206-323-7203
"HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? AND ... WILL
I LIKE IT?"
Telephone psychic masturbation
service. Madame Vulvana -- 900-678-0444
ATTENTION
ALL DEAF AND BLIND MASTURBATORS
Use one of your
remaining senses to masturbate with my Sexual
Smells Collection. Forget those corporate smells.
My smells are locally-made.
Crandall Myers,
Circle-Q Ranch, Pasco WA 96121
EVEN BUSY GUYS NEED
TO MASTURBATE
Provide me with images, scheduling
information. Will masturbate and fax you complete
report. Doug Business Systems -- 206-358-6299
HAVE
YOUR DUSTY OLD BABY PICTURES CONVERTED INTO
PROFITABLE CHILD PORN
Never too late to become a
porn star. -- Dunn Photo Salvage 206-344-2800
CELEBRITY PORN! WOW!
That's right. Super-hot
magazines, videotapes, DVDs and paperback novels
once owned by Celebrity Paul Allen. 400,000 items.
Send $9.95 for catalog.
MALTHUSIAN INDUSTRIES,
828828 BEL-RED RD. 98004
Phone disconnected due to
non-payment of phone-sex charges?
Masturbate to
the voice of the "This line has been disconnected"
recording. Contact your local Qwest representative
for details.
EVEN LAZY GUYS NEED TO MASTURBATE
Lay
still and masturbate while I look at smut images
or videos for you and describe. Pleasant speaking
voice. Not responsible for sloppy camera-work,
overacting, etc. Doug Leisure Services --
206-358-6299
Something new in Masturbational Aids.
Sex audio recordings. Our monofilament
intra-uterine microphones catch all the hot sounds
not normally audible to copulators. Close eyes and
imagine. -- 206-224-3283 |
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