In years past Mr. Clark diligently copyrighted every one of his works, including articles, article headlines, individual phrases and words. He doesn't do that any more because everybody knows by now. However he does still continue to copyright the works of friends and acquaintances -- including works-in-progress, misplaced or forgotten works and possible future works -- in case there's a good idea in there that warrants the attention of a strong and conscientious steward. Curious? Contact these offices to find out if Mr. Clark has copyrighted your works.

Attention Advertisers: We have examined your Advertisings in a variety of periodicals and frankly we do not understand the appeal. As a world-renowned purveyor of Ridicule, however, we are interested in Political Advertising. We have in mind an Advertising regarding the 1972 Presidential election. In that year the presumptive Vice-Presidential nominee for the Democratic Party, Sen. Thomas Eagleton of Missouri, was revealed to have at one time in his life received electro-shock therapy for some manner of psycho-neurotic ill. George Clark Publishing was not in existence at the time. But certainly it is not too late to lampoon the matter with a spurious Political Advertising. An abundance of witticisms and graphical barbs come to mind. If you are interested in placing such an Advertising, plus contact us and you will find our rates are most reasonable.

Send us your Self-Addressed Stamped Envelopes! We prefer typed or laser-printed addresses, punctuated in accordance with the standards of the United States Postal Service Stylebook, fourth edition. Seasonal stamps are always a big hit around here, along with Historical Commemorative stamps, and Mr. Clark enjoys any of the various Disease Awareness stamps. Stamps from foreign lands always appreciated. No oversized envelopes. You will have noticed that we do not respond to the Self-Addressed Stamped Postcards you send us because the poor things end up being delivered right back to you as soon as they're mailed, but that doesn't mean we don't find them interesting, so please keep trying.

All other submissions must be destroyed. This can be problematic. In years past we have instructed poets, expositors and satirists to compost their submissions; but it has been our determination that the various inks, dyes and oils used in these submissions are unsavory at best and unsuitable for placement in the soil. Burning a submission releases greenhouse gases, queer-smelling and coarse; and recycling them would overtax our dwindling Recycling resources. Herewith our chosen methods: 1) the submission must be by the very hand that hewed it rent into shreds and rags, these to be empacked into the clefts, crevices and imperfections of our public governmental buildings, thus denying egress to vermin, or 2) give them to the homeless to sort out amongst themselves. We are advised by the Internal Revenue Service that these gifts are not tax-deductible and may in fact constitute some sort of crime.