 Publication
date: October 1, 1996
Type: 16-page tabloid parody
Object of Ridicule: The Stranger, free
weekly Seattle tabloid
  It was at our
weekly media round-table at The Rainier Club not long ago that newsman Jerome A. toddles up and
croons, "Say, Georgie? About The Wanker. Loved it. Very clever and all that. But - and pardon my
frankness here, George - but making fun of those kids who crank out The Stranger, it's, to borrow an
old phrase, it's like ... insulting a kitten. Sure, it's an obvious target. But it can't
defend itself. And it has no idea what you're saying."
I shoved a forkful of cheese blintz into my mouth and, just prior to swallowing,
said, "Jerry? You are, in case you've forgotten ... the publisher of The Seattle
Post-Intelligencer." And he walked away with a wounded look on his face. The best rejoinders are
simple statements of fact.
Frank B. of The Times
leans over. "Jerry don't mean no harm, George. It's just that ... with you poking fun at The
Stranger time after time, well, folks are starting to think that maybe, after 40 years, you've
finally started to run out of ideas."
I tapped my glass with a crudité fork and stood; the room fell quiet. "Run out of ideas?
Really, gentlemen. I have no ideas; never have had. I want none. I ridicule the ideas of others.
Men like yourselves." I walked over to Jerome and said, "I need you, man. Never change." And
then I was afforded the exciting opportunity of rebuffing him when he tried to give me a hug.
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