IMPORTANT NOTE: GEORGE CLARK'S INTERNET WORLD OF RIDICULE IS A NOT-FOR-PROFIT ENTERPRISE. ALL PROFITS WILL BE FORWARDED TO: SHRINE ANIMAL CIRCUS.

Now choose from amongst the following:

George Clark X-Large T-Shirt Extra-Large T-shirts. As favored by the likes of William Howard Taft, John Merrick, Mama Cass. George Clark devotees have earned the right to join this elite group. Price: $72.00 Back Issues The original parody sensations. These slander-filled documents have been yellowing gracefully in our Fauntleroy warehouse and come complete with original typographical errors, which Mr. Clark employs for stylistic reasons. Note: Because it is less offensive than The Wanker, each issue of Seattle Whitely has been imbued with a queer smell. Price: $95.00 per copy Grunge Jingles Approximately twelve distinctive grunge advertising jingles on a 26-minute cassette. Imagine. Designed and produced by Mr. Clark with the invaluable assistance of his private grunge band, Behavior Management. Experience all the youthful vigor, hate, and tape hiss that made grunge the one-time marketing phenomenon that it is today. Price: $105.00 The George Clark Cap Across a bustling Home Show or bobbing in a sea of line-dancers, the George Clark Cap stands out like a beacon: it's the one with the boldly forward-directed bill. As well, the George Clark Cap is fully opaque and will conceal hairlessness anywhere on the body. Price: $108.00 The George Clark Mug This fine mug, made of enough rugged plastic to securely house up to 10 ounces of virtually any beverage, requires no description so please ignore the previous. Includes special "travel lid." Price: $88.00 The George Clark Bandage Dispenser This perfectly good bandage dispenser comes with four complimentary bandages. If your injuries involve massive trauma to the hands you will be unable to use this nifty dispenser. Price: $74.00 The George Clark Pig's Ear Mr. Clark harvests these savory dog treats himself at his Seattle processing plant. And each Pig's Ear comes with a reusable warning label explicitly stating: "Remove label before serving." Price: $3.00